Friday, August 27, 2010

Life and other things that get in the way of sleep

So started on Copaxone shot about 2 weeks ago.  Really having a hrad time with wanting to take this one.  No immediate benefit.  Just a med that MAY help prevent new lesions and POSSIBLY lessen number of exacerbations.  Thats alot of ifs and maybes.  I have happened upon quite a few different instances where people have MS and were relatively OK for about 20 years then it started hitting them hard.  When these people started getting hit hard, they were in their 40s.  I wonder if the more destructive side of MS likes to show up around that age or after that many years. 
This concerns me because I am 38.  I just got my dx because of incompetent doctors and moving to a different state.  So will my slam come after 20 yrs of dx or around 40 if there really is one?
I am having more of a hard time with this than I figured.  I thought after I got the dx I would be relieved.  Now it seems I am just worried.  I stopped looking for more info...too much out there to read and it may or may not be applicable to me in some degree at sometime in the future.
Maybe, I can just pretend nothing is wrong and go back to work and help my family out more.
Maybe I would be able to pull this off for a few weeks, months, or years before my body slammed me back into reality.
Hey, I can have dreams cant I?

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Belly Day

So Wednesday I started on Copaxone.  It is an immunomodulating (changes the immune system) drug used to try and slow down new lesions and flareups of Multiple Sclerosis.  I was kinda nervous at the thought of giving myself a shot everyday.  I have an autoject (contraption that holds the needle and injects it when u push the button).  You have to rotate injection sites because this medication has a notorious side effect of injection site reactions and deterioration of tissue at injection sites.  So today was belly day.  I was especially nervous about this.  But it was the easiest site so far in a way.....I have enough padding (fat) there so it didnt sting as bad as the other ones.  But being the only flexible spot it is a little wierd feeling now.  So yea I know most of this blog has been medical shit.  It is the biggest thing happening right now.  Oh and I want a tattoo so bad it is driving me crazy.  I shoulda been born rich.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Side Effects

So, I do not take medicine lightly.  I research things, look up side effects and benefits, weight them against the efficacy of the medicine.  So I was happy when my MS specialist/neurologist decided to put me on Copaxone.  So I get insurance straightened out (no small task, let me tell you), I finally get my meds.  The injection training nurse comes yesterday and I get my first shot.  About 3 hours later, I start getting sharp stomach pains (similar to when I had an allergic reaction to morphine but not as bad) and felt nauseous.  A couple hours after that, I threw up.  Not sure yet if it was a reaction to the medicine or not.  Guess I will see if I do the same thing tonight.
But what pisses me off is that the med insert I got yesterday was different from the information I had already gotten (online, from the Company site, and med insert with Welcome pack from the company itself).  This one lists more side effects--like lowered immune system response, nausea, vomiting, hypersensitive immune system, and higher rate of host infections. Also, the only real benefit was in times between relapses.
Still it was the safest of four evils (Copaxone, Rebif, Avonex, and Betaseron).  We'll see how it goes.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Needles and Meds and Training--oh my

So yesterday I received my first shipment of Copaxone---prolly the most expensive thing in my house right now.
Today my injection training nurse came by.  I will be on daily injections now.  It wasnt too bad.  Didnt even feel the needle.  A minute or so after injecting the medicine it stung a little.  Really hard to inject in the back of the arms.  Will have to come up with a better way to do it there or have someone inject me on arm days.  There was a little redness and warmth at the injection site.  Had everyone in the room when she was training me so if I needed help they could do it.  Even my step-daughter (who is afraid of needles) was in there.  It is not to help with any existing symptoms but to try and slow down the progression of new symptoms and lesions.  The safest of the 4 first-line defenses for MS.
Oh and it also happens to be my anniversary.  Three years, and its been a helluva ride.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Proud Momma

My son that is.  He rode a bull in the county fair.  I thought I was gonna have a heart attack before he even rode.  But he did good.  Rode 5.5 seconds before he got bucked off.  Good landing.  The bull started to chase him and he was up that fence like greased lightening!!   Did I mention this was the first time he had ever even been on a bull?

I am so proud of him.  He went after his dreams even though alot of people were saying he couldnt do it.
I was extremely hot--abt 105-110 with heat index.

 In the pic I am bending down because @ 14 he is already three inches taller than me.
extremely hot though--heat index of 105-110 which was NOT good for my MS

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Mood swing

Why does life have to change?
Why does it have to change us?
Why do good things happen to bad people and vice versa?
Can we ever go back?

Decent day

So today has been ok.  Been in a fairly decent mood.  Little bit of stress with my 14 yr old son but worked that out.  Oh did I mention I am bipolar, ADD, Aspergers, PTSD, along with a few other thing?  I can never remember them all.  I sometimes wonder if there are disorders for every little mood we have.  I do feel people over-diagnose themselves.  But those are the labels I have gotten from "professionals" so take it or leave it.  But I havent had any money lately due to life and shit.  I havent been taking my medicine because I cant afford it.  Its definitely interesting.  I would love for the powers to be that set the income limits for medicaid and food stamps to try and live my life for a couple months.  Bet they couldnt do it.  I really dont have the money but I want a banana split so maybe we will go get some for the fam.  Thats my random thoughts for the day.  Oh yeah, and my 14 yr old son is supposed to ride a bull in the local rodeo in a cpl days.  He begged me if he got hurt not to run in the arena and embarass him. hahaha